Our big guy is gone...

*Copied from my blog post on a different site.*

My poor, sweet, big, loveable, adorable, beautiful, gentle, loving, sweet, puppy Quincy is gone! We are going to miss him soo much! He seemed like he had lost some weight over the last week or so, but it seemed really bad yesterday, and today. He wouldn't eat. He could barely stand, but he would drink a lot of water, and he would eat treats out of our hand. I had to help him walk into the kitchen from outside today, and he almost collasped. I miss hugging him. Jason got home, and I had already called the emergency vet clinic who told us to bring him right in. After a long wait, and lots of testing, they concluded that he had severe, advanced, progressive, heart failure. His atria were only fibrulating, and his left (main) ventricle was severely enlarged. He also had a lot of fluid in his chest and abdominal cavity. We were faced with the option to seek agressive treatment, which would have involved taking him to MSU, or a special Canine Cardiologist tonight, a couple thousand dollars, and about a 25% chance of survival...which would still leave him with less than a year or so to live...and in order to even live that long he might have had to be hospitalized, and he would have had to get rid of all that excess fluid before he could even get better. It was the hardest decision to make...I swore I would never eutanize, and that we would seek treatment...but it just didn't seem like the right thing to do. He probably would have been miserable, and he might not have even gotten better, and the vet told us it would definitely be an uphill battle the entire time, the rest of his life, if we chose to treat him. He would have had to be seen tonight to even stand a small chance. I think this was what was best for him. It would have been selfish for us to *make* him live a low quality life just so we could have him here. I still feel so guilty though. I feel like we failed him. I'm going to miss him so much! He was just starting to really comfortable around the kids, and he loved them so much. It was so hard coming home without him, and seeing his empty crate, and knowing we will never see him again! I pray that he is with the Father, whole and healthy again, and waiting for us to meet him there. I'm angry too...as if losing, basically, a family member wasn't enough...we had to pay a huge bill for taking him in...it's just a slap in the face...your dog's gone...and oh yeah, you owe us a buttload of money too. Really though, the staff at the Emergency Animal Hospital were very nice, proffessional, and sympathetic. I thank God for that. This is so hard on Jason too...I feel so bad that he has to go to work tomorrow. I am so tired, but I can't sleep b/c I can't stop thinking about him! I have so much more to get out, but I have stuff to do, and I'm just not up to it right now. Rest In Peace buddy, you were greatly loved, and will be greatly missed.

Reflecting...

I should be sleeping, 'stead of keeping, these late hours, I've been keeping...

Just had to get this out really quick. I m/c my first child at 13 weeks, and it was very difficult on my husband and especially me. I think about that child from time to time, but recently, a mama on a forum that I frequent wanted help finding a place where she could leave a memorial for her child, and I went searching for the board that I left my memorial on 3 short years ago. This brought back such a rush of emotion, and the tears just started flowing. I continued to read about numerous lost angels, at varying ages, and just couldn't stop weeping. They also have the sweetest picture of an angel baby statue being held by an angel, and I couldn't help but think that it was the most perfect, beautiful baby, and it looked just like what my lost angel would have looked like. We think it was a girl, based on just our instints, but since we will never know for sure, we decided to call the baby Pip. Anyways, before I start rambling too bad, this whole scenario was weighing very heavily on my heart...and I was brushing my teeth, then rolling my wool to aid in drying, and asking God to just take this pain off my heart...and I thought to myself that it just saddened me so much to think that I would never see this child again...then it was like a light bulb came on...and I just know it was God, and it said..."WAIT, I WILL see this child again someday...when I enter the Kingdom of Heaven!" I can't explain exactly why, but that just lifted such a huge burden off my shoulders, and a heaviness off of my heart. God will always carry us if we let him. I just really felt the presence of God in this situation, and wanted to share. NOw that I massively overly tired, and more subject to panic attacks, it is off to bed for me, b/c I have a very long day ahead of me tomorrow! Thanks for listening. --K--

Reflections on "Making Children Mind without Losing Yours" by Dr. Kevin Leman: Part 1

Chapter 1
Notes: It's not just physical dangers, "kids are being held hostage by coarse T.V. shows, violent video games, and valueless schools." "Is it possible to bring up good children in such a crazy age?" The author says it's possible, but still scary. Many parents end up too afraid to do anything, for fear of being too lineant, too attached, too distant, or too demanding, and instead do nothing! We are al going to make mistakes, but we need to learn from them, not fear them. We can still raise good kids while making mistakes. "And we don't need the community to raise our kids, we don't need the schools to do it, we don't need the government telling us how, we don't even need churches to do our childrearing for us...we need parents to step up and do it." Everyone else needs to support parents in there efforts though. So that's the challenge...step up and be a parent. Make your family the most important and commit to it.

The time has come for reality discipline. "It's a consistent, decisive, and respectful way for parents to love and discipline their children." Discipline, not punish, love, but not smother in love. Lot's of parents are asking questions like...How do I really love my children? How do i respect my children? How can I hold them accountable for their actions? How do I get them to do what I think they ought to do, without resorting to physical or verbal violence? What about spanking? Is it necessary? How much? How often? Reality discipline will answer these questions and is inspired by scripture. It is based on Ephesians 6:1-4. The author believes that when we discipline children we do not damage their psyches, and I agree with him. Many children don't feel loved in their homes. "For discipline to work, the first thing that has to happen is that they child must feel genuinely loved."

The Seven Principles of Reality Discipline

1. Establish a healthy authority over your children.
"A family is not a democracy. The parents need to be in charge." Children should be valued family members, just not the complete center of attention.

2. Hold your children accountable for their actions.

3. Let reality be the teacher.
Goldfish as pets are good...if you don't feed them, they die. "Too many parents worry that failure will damage their childs self-esteem." Kids need to be able to fail, but then be love unconditionally when they do so.

4. Use action more than words.
The action of letting a child get away with something wins out every time. Hold them accountable and let them know their responsibilities affect others.

5. Stick to your guns, but don't shoot yourself in the foot.
Kids will try to whine to get you to change your mind, but don't give in! "Outlast them, and they'll learn it's pointless to whine." If you get the idea that you feel you need to change your mind though, you can...only God's authority is final.

6. Relationships come before rules.
These principles are not set in concrete. There are no hard and fast rules for raising children, like some people sometimes wish there were...sometimes you just have to go with your gut. "the goal is always the same: teaching your children to love others, to put others first, to be givers and not takers, and to realize that it makes a difference how they conduct themselves."

7. Live by your values.
"...for all to many kids today, cheating and lying are fine as long as you don't get caught-and then the response is merely a shrug and "Whatever." " Your children learn from watching you. The prerequisites for practicing reality discipline are 1. the desire to love as unconditionally as possible, and 2. you must be willing to take the time to practice it.

Make a difference in your childrens lives...don't fall for the modern doctrine that you are insignificant and don't matter, b/c you do and you can have a tremendous impact on your childrens lives. "Every rebellious act is a cry to Parent me! Treat me like I matter to you!" "Kids want guidelines. They need parameters." I love that he adressed that some soccer and t-ball leagues are no longer keeping score b/c then someone might lose, and that would damage their self-esteem. I think this is the biggest load of crap! If children aren't allowed to fail, they essentially aren't allowed to excel! You can't strive to be the best if you're always the best, and is there even any "best" is everyone's the best? Children need to learn that sometimes losing is a part of life, and that's o.k.

REVIEW AND APPLY QUESTIONS

Q: What aspects of our modern world make it difficult for you to raise your children?

A: I think there are so many aspects that make it difficult. Cartoons that set poor examples, use toliet humor, and are offensive. One of the biggest one's for me is other peoples children who behave pooryly, who my two year old learns from . I think that an overall busier schedule contributes as well. Pushing our children to excel earlier and earlier is also a problem...we are so focused on getting our 4 year olds to be computer literate that we're not making sure that they know how to play nice, share, and use there manners! Really, it's o.k. if they don't use a computer or spell perfect until second grade!

I skipped the next queestion b/c i didn't think any of them were hard to understand.

TO PRACTICE

* Talk through the principles of reality discipline with your spouse. Decide together whether you'll put these principles into practice or not. Or do you want to read the rest of the book to see how they work?

Jason and I think this approach sounds good, so I will continue to read the book and share the key points with Jason.

I hope that these reviews can help you if you as well, if you don't have access to the book, or maybe it will even inspire you to go get it...either from your library or from the store! =)

Reflections on "How Did I Get So Busy" by Valerie Burton: Part 1

Faith, Family and Friends form the foundation of fulfillment. What a powerful statement. This book is all about managing our time better so that we are not so "busy" and we have time for the important things in life. It helps teach you to still do the things you want to do, but feel fulfilled, satisfied and well rested instead of busy all of the time. So, Faith, Family, and Friends form the foundation of fulfillment was just a really powerful statement to me. One I want to remember for a long time. There is a pyramid you can use...starting at the bottom with the largest section and moving upward, the sections are...Faith, Family, and Friendships...Self-care...Purposeful Work...Financial Health...Joy. I'm supposed to jot down the area's where I feel overwhelmed, overloaded, and/or overdriven, so here goes...
*Finances
*Sewing
*Primerica
*Daycare Paperwork
*The Budget
*Trying to Exercise
Then I am supposed to imagine what it would be like if I didn't feel this way...conceiving change, is the first step to birthing change. O.k., so while I was trying to imagine the way this would feel I fell asleep, but I'm back now, and I think it would just be a really calm, content, laid back feeling. Then I am supposed to answer this question in my journal...
Q: What has lead you to your current state of busyness? At the end of this 28 day journey what do you want to be different about your life?

A: I, much like the author, have been a busy body since childhood...my friends can vouch for me on that. I rarely was not involved in at least two or three things at once, and I loved all the stuff I was involved in...for me, it was more to get out of the house I think. Although I LOVED dance and did it three days a week b/c of it! As I got older, I just kept it going, and when I graduated it was the same story...I took more than full-time college credits, worked over-time whenever I could, coached youth soccer, coached cheerleading...the list goes on...and I am starting to get burnt out! I can't do everything and raise two (or more maybe down the road) children and run a household, run multiple businesses and still do "everything," like I think I sometimes can. At the end of the 28 days I would like to feel more organized, less stressed, like I have time for the things I enjoy to do, time to exercise, time to just relax, and like I have accomplished something everyday.

"One-Minute Meditation: Something better is possible and will unfold over the next 28 days." These meditations are part of the book...join with me in doing them if you'd like to! =)

Introductions...

My name is Kelley, I am almost 24 years old. I am married to my highschool sweetheart, who also just turned 24. We have been married for almost 3 years now, and we've been together for a little over 7 years. We have two beautiful children, Coby, who is almost 2, and Caitlyn who is just 7 weeks! We've had some ups and downs, and lots of interesting things happen, so I figure this blog will be a way to keep track of it all. My WAHM businesses, raising our children, church happenings and reflections, and awareness for other things that I am passionate about. I hope to sort of be a spokesperson for topics that I'd like to raise awareness about, such as Shaken Baby Syndrome, Cystic Fibrosis, Cerebral Palsy, Breast Cancer, Ovarian Cancer, Premature Birth, Pre-term Labor, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, Endometiosis and other important topics as I come across them and find interest in them. I also hope that this blog may help some as a possible pregnancy and breastfeeding resource. I am also hoping to someday break into the music industry as a singer and possibly song writer, so hopefully this blog will chronicle that journey as well. There will probably be some parenting tips, as I read lots of books, and there may be testimonies of God as well, or reflections on church sermons, although I do not plan for this blog to be "preachy." Well, I guess that's about it, Happy Reading, and I guess I should get crackin!!