I should be sleeping, 'stead of keeping, these late hours, I've been keeping...
Just had to get this out really quick. I m/c my first child at 13 weeks, and it was very difficult on my husband and especially me. I think about that child from time to time, but recently, a mama on a forum that I frequent wanted help finding a place where she could leave a memorial for her child, and I went searching for the board that I left my memorial on 3 short years ago. This brought back such a rush of emotion, and the tears just started flowing. I continued to read about numerous lost angels, at varying ages, and just couldn't stop weeping. They also have the sweetest picture of an angel baby statue being held by an angel, and I couldn't help but think that it was the most perfect, beautiful baby, and it looked just like what my lost angel would have looked like. We think it was a girl, based on just our instints, but since we will never know for sure, we decided to call the baby Pip. Anyways, before I start rambling too bad, this whole scenario was weighing very heavily on my heart...and I was brushing my teeth, then rolling my wool to aid in drying, and asking God to just take this pain off my heart...and I thought to myself that it just saddened me so much to think that I would never see this child again...then it was like a light bulb came on...and I just know it was God, and it said..."WAIT, I WILL see this child again someday...when I enter the Kingdom of Heaven!" I can't explain exactly why, but that just lifted such a huge burden off my shoulders, and a heaviness off of my heart. God will always carry us if we let him. I just really felt the presence of God in this situation, and wanted to share. NOw that I massively overly tired, and more subject to panic attacks, it is off to bed for me, b/c I have a very long day ahead of me tomorrow! Thanks for listening. --K--
Beyond the Rough Edges
12 hours ago