Ugh. I have dealt with so many challenges lately. I'm fine with it for the most part. That's basically been the way my entire life has been, but I have to say, I reach the point where I am just mentally exhausted sometimes, and this is one of those times. Physical exhaustion, and hormones both from being pregnant don't help at all either though. I am just so tired of always having to fight for everything I want though. I just for once would like something to go my way, without me having to debate, and struggle.
Honestly, I don't even normally mind debating. I actually enjoy it. It gets old though when I have to do it all the time, for everything I believe in. I don't mind standing up for what I believe in, but it gets exhausting when I feel like I am being judged, and it's simply out of ignorance.
I just want to live my life with my husband and kids, and have all of us be happy and my kids be smart and successful..
It also hurts that a lot of the people that I'm close to, that are supposed to love me, don't believe in me at all. I find it interesting that people I haven't known for as long believe in me, and see the things I accomplish and think it's impressive, yet nothing I do is ever enough for my family.
I work my but off, I take care of our three kids, I try to keep the house clean, and it should be even better in the new house because it is set up much better, but, I still try, and I think I do pretty well. On top of that, I'm pregnant, I'm still working on customs, which for some reason are never considered a priority by anyone but me, and I'm trying to work on things for my kids and spend time with them so I can still be a good mom to them...but to some people, because I don't ditch my kids with a sitter for 12 hours a day, and go work a job I hate, only to come home, put my kids in bed, clean what I can, and crawl in bed, never doing anything I enjoy, then I must be miserable, because nothing but money could possibly make me or my family happy. I mean the idea that a family doesn't need every material possession under the sun, or all the latest fashions, or a brand new vehicle, or to eat out constantly, or all the newest video games, etc etc etc to be happy, is completely foreign to so many people that it makes me sad! I can't believe the number of people that would rather work 60 or 70 hours a week, and never see their kids just so that they can buy stuff they don't need, rather then work less, have less, but have everything by having more time with their kids.
Ok, I'll get off my soap box now. I needed to vent. I know God will provide for our family because He is awesome and wonderful, and He always does. I know that we know what we need to be happy, and that's all that really matters.